Our Younger Self, The Growth of Relationships, When Success Redefines Bonds.

By Ekaale Ekuam

September 15, 2024

In life's great tapestry, it is relationships that ultimately sew our experiences together, binding us all along to family, friends, and those through whom we journey in life. Mostly hewn in childhood, such connections only evolve with the seasons of life. Success, education, and career growth not to mention the changed circumstances brought about changes that shook the once unshakable bonds of our early years. Often, in the pursuit of individual dreams, quite a big proportion leave behind those we grow up with, either relatives or childhood friends. This creates a rift that might sometimes change what we mean by "family" or "friendship."

Relatives by definition are people related either by blood or marriage but to most, they are so much more. For instance, parents are the first protectors, guiding and protecting, providing security and love. More than just relatives, they form the bedrock on which most of us base our lives. Beyond parents, of course, we are enfolded in a larger network of cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings. These kinsfolk stand on the sidelines, either cheering in our victories or overwhelmed with jealousy and apathy as we stride up the ladder of accomplishment.

Is the regard for relatives guided by what they can or ought to provide for us emotionally or financially? This is, indeed, a question most have to grapple with in the process of pursuing a successful career. Some relatives will stand by and are prepared to sacrifice all for our good, while yet others may be overshadowed or abandoned on account of such success.

Success quite often has a price tag. We climb up the social ladder through prestigious schools, better-paying jobs, and into other social classes. With each step up, we lose some of the people who were important to us. Childhood friends with whom we shared dreams may now seem distant as their career paths went through other schools or job lines. That childhood friend who went to a really affordable school while you pursued studies at elite institutions what does she think of you now? Do the old memories come running, or does a chink in the armor creep in?

The questions can get very personal to answer. Some relationships hold strong against the winds of change, while others fracture under a spurting lifestyle and ambitions. The idealistic dreams of our youth often get lost in the practicalities of adult life, and a group of close friends will inevitably disperse into separate lives.

While growing and finding success, relatives and friends do not always give applause. To those left behind who perhaps struggle to make ends meet or cannot break through the various barriers of society our success may serve as a painful reminder of what they have not achieved. In this way, jealousy, resentment, and even bitterness sometimes arise.

But are we to blame for not lifting up these relatives? Does this mean that our success is accompanied by the responsibility to bring them along with us, or is this their burden and problem to find their way? This issue haunts many a successful soul and is often stressful, even breaking those relationships that seemed inseparable.

At the core of it all is a question as to whether the bonds of childhood will survive the shifting tides of adulthood. Many of us grew up together, shared hopes and dreams, and a belief in a future where we would all be successful. But life turns out rarely as imagined. As careers progress, some friends fall by the wayside, while others surprise us and forge their own paths. That friend from childhood to whom great things had seemed destined, in the event, took another path. How does he think of us now? How do we think of him? Maybe the woman who went to another college, entered a different profession, now feels the weight of separation, psychic and social.

Yet even when life's circumstances change, the heart of those early bonds needn't always. If we could remember the dreams we shared, the support we gave one another, and the love that tied us together, there is hope for reconciliation. Success should not imply the demise of relationships but rather a touchstone to how well and far we have come, together or apart.

In working our way up the career ladder, success is not complete if we forget where we are coming from. Relationships with relatives and childhood friends do not have to end when we achieve more; they can evolve. The takeaway here is in realizing that life changes people, and not all changes are for the worse. It is in embracing not just the joy but also the challenges that come with success that we find new ways of relating to those we love even when our paths diverge.

In the end, our relatives and childhood friends are still a part of our story, whether they walk alongside us or watch from afar.

The Author,

Is a Freelance Writer Entrepreneurship and Innovation Management Consultant.